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Ok here it is you f*****s.

Katamarino and I were just floating around adirain, Me in my scorp and kata in her daredevil. Good shit. Ok so there are a few locals, and adirain is MY home turf. So we start scanning to kick em out. Next thing i know Katamrino is shrieking at me in gang chat to get my ass alinged for IV-4, there is two Cyclones and a Machariel in the belt.

We warp in and land 5k from the Mach. I scramble it using only 1x 20k and watch helplessly as he starts to MWD away, and realised that while kata had her scrams on, she had forgotten to web. Luckily the DareDevil is one Fast ASSS of a ship and she auchgt up with it and wtfpwned it with her webifier. We focus all firepower and scrams on the Machariel, forgetting the cyclones who have already vacted the premesis.

I open up a conversation (which I will post later tonight when I am at home, at college atm) with the dude and demand 300M while he is in structure, giving him 10 seconds before it is 400M.

He promptly pays up and sends me 300M. We release him and make a quick 150M each. Hey, not bad.

enjoi folks, chatlogs to be posted later


My Scorpion class battleship illuminates the vacuum of space in a spattering of blue lights and white view ports. I am looking for victims.

NiteReper > enjoi, [HIP] are on our home turf and have me camped in. Requesting assistance.
enjoi > Yarrrr I hear you hearty, 2J's out.
NiteReper > Let's rape these whore
enjoi > Fo' Shizzle dizzle, I got my umbrizzle fo' tha drzzle
Nitereper > lol

As I just imto the solarsystem Adirain, home to Red-Alert Corp, I scan around. I get a nice result. 3 Bs on a 60 degree scan towards station. So these are the tools who think they can fuck with Red-A huh? Aight. I insta-dock, right past the two Apocalypse and one Megathron class battleships, and comminucate with NiteReper, and Darcstorm.

Darcstorm > So whats up with these guys enjoi?
enjoi > not a clue buddy, but they obviously dont have the brains of a pile of fesces.
NiteReper > So are we gonna fuck em up?
enjoi > Yeah, me and you are outlaws nite, so undock one at a time, let them flag for you and redock. Darc, your pos sec sucks ;-) so undock and get away from the undocking channel.
Darcstorm > rgr
Nitereper > rgr, undocking.
Nitereper > They have flagged for me, safely docked.
enjoi > Aight, my turn to catch a flag.

I undock in the scorpion. My shield resistances are amazing. My boost rate is insane. My siege engines long to heat up. So I sit there, infront of these three BS and hit my hardeners, waiting for them to flag against me. The MegaT locks and flags, closely followed by the two Apoc's. Wait a minute... What the hell...

enjoi > bwahahahaa
enjoi > These guys SUCK
enjoi > all three of em on me and I can keep my tank at 100%
Darcstorm > lol
NiteReper > sweet, you guys ready?
enjoi > aye, Darc is already in position. Undock on my mark.
enjoi > GO

Me and NiteReper undock as Darcstorm flags himself and starts to tank both the sentries and all three of their BS. I lock up on the closest Apoc and call him as primary. Man i'm itching to take this guys ship. We all open fire on him, and he go's down like a sack of shit. Litterally. 30 seconds see's him in structure, another 5 see's him dead. Bitch. We proceed to target the megathron, but this guy can actually tank. Well. I say tank... I mean he knows how to switch a rep on, but his resistances must SUCK. DAMN. He starts to go into around 20% armour and warps, being too far out of scram range. His buddy in the other apoc warps with him, and the remaining two BS and the egg pilot exit system, amidst a hail of smack. Darcstorm sits there a while, still tanking sentrys for the hell of it. He tanks them for another 2/3 mins then SS's, me and nite head to the gate and gank some poor dude's thorax in celebration. We join Darc at SS.

enjoi > Red-Alert claims this system as home [HIP] and if you like your ships i would come back.

God Damn, I think to myself. Not a bad brawl. Not bad at all. Just another day huh. Just another day in the life of enjoi.

Although I write in story'ish style, the events are true - ander now you dont gotta keep bitchin at me to write new articles :-P thats two I've done in what, a year? :-D

enjoi it fuckers

Just another day in the life of enjoi.

Warp to IX.. Kill an NPC Thron... Warp to VI... Kill a Thron. Yawn. Life in the sec raising business sure sucks ass I tell you. So i figure, hey, Fuck it. Lets get back to empire and gank some or something. Dock. Kit up. Got my raven and travel rig, Tanked to the balls, WCSx4 on my lows with a PDU II. This baby is ready for fun. Shit, almost forgot the FOF's in the high. Stock em up then I'm outta there.

The journey from LSC4-P is never uneventful, as fate has taught me. Never more than today. Two jumps Away from the MHC-R3 gateway system i hit a 14 ship mixed TunDragon Teddybear fleet. Ha oh joy, I now need to change the leathers in the Raven control seat. Never the less, I manage to warp away easy enough. I lead them a merry chase all the way to MHC, where a WOR member, who will remain un-named assisted me through via scouting gates. As i jump through the MHC gate into Harroule, I make a mental note to take down the guys pants who sold me the Insta Bm's.

Jumping into the 0.1 system is nothing new, so i let my trigger finger relax. Two phoons little over -1.0 Sec are approaching the gate, no known KOS locals, nothing is amiss. I uncloak And they lock me up. Ha. Bitches dont know who theyr messin with, obviously.
I hit the hardeners and lock back. My resistances are amazing. My boost rate is insane. MY launchers are loaded. They both open fire under the watchful sentries who dont even start ripping them up due to my citizen scaring security status. These guys have no respect from me. I hit the stop button and start to approach the Typhoon pilots, Raven lights ablaze, Seige engines warming. The FOF's do their work and start ripping them immediately.

Pissed off with the shitty 300+ hits that read on my scanner as the Dragon class Cruise FOF's hit them, I take a breather and reload to torps. Shields are still at a comfortable 70%. I break the first phoons tank and take him into structure. The splash creates ripples in the vaccum as they pound his hull. A smile creeps over my lips as I feel that surge of adrenalin that comes with power. The WOR member laughs his head off in local as i get smack talked to the high Heavens and back down to the Seventh circle of Hell. Ha. Caps a little low now, so I leave it, warp out and let them know that even though they had me scrammed, I /was/ in control of the situation, both in the fact I was WCS'ed and Kicking their small time asses. The flames in local are unbelievable. I tilt my head back and laugh hard. God damn. Best head back to Adirain and terrorize some other locals.
God Damn. Just another day I think to myself. Ha. Just another day.

Hope you folks enjoi the read, didnt take long but is highly amusing, and if ya like I can give ya the player names IG so you can send them mails lol.

Peace! We out! enjoi!