Pirating 101, Lesson 1: "Look Before You Leap"

It wasn't until yesterday that I decided to take the plunge into piracy. Setting my Ferox aside out of fear for my pocketbook, I strapped together one mean Incursus. Help with fitting came from Sniggerdly and friends, which I thank them profusely for. The Incursus was a mean one, that's for sure. All the basics; ion blasters, a micro-warp drive, warp scrambler and capacitor relays lining the inside. It took a good thirty minutes of meandering through asteroid belts and fumbling my way through the scanner (and failing to use it properly) until I found him.

A poor Osprey mining away in 0.1 space seemed an ideal target. At the time of writing I've only been at this for a day since this event and I've already fallen into a routine: Orbit the sap, hit my micro-warp drive and wait to get close enough to scramble. Once that's over, start firing and see how the target reacts. This one seemed to think shouting in Local would help him, attempting several times. He seemed to get louder once I hit armor, and I knew I had truely picked a perfect mark. My guns deactivated as I hit structure.

Since nobody else seemed to bother to answer his cries, I took it upon myself to do so. I hailed him and he accepted, frantically asking me to stop. With the utmost attention to etiquette I requested two million ISK for his ship's 'life'; a price I figured was very fair given the market value. Unfortunately, he told me he didn't have two million. He went on to say if I let him mine, he'd pay me in resources. I figured he was telling the truth, to use such desperate tactics. I'm a newbie, not stupid, however.

Mining in 0.1 space with an Osprey and no money? I couldn't say I felt any large amount of remorse for this guy. I humbly requested one million and told him he had a minute to transfer the ISK to my account. I shot at his ship a few times for good measure, and like any other self-respecting pirate, just to see the pretty colors. He failed to do so, and after asking one last time apologizing (he was polite enough to earn my respect), I shredded him. His pod sped off before I could target it.

Now, as I said, this was my first day of actual piracy. When his pod started blinking on my ship's overview, warning me of his intention to flee, I mistook it for an incoming ship. I quickly scrounged up the loot (Which would have netted me a good three-hundred thousand, by my estimate. Nothing fancy, really.) Now, I could have sworn I jumped to a planet. Famous last words, no? So, of course...

My navigation was a tad bit off, leaving me confused and not-so-lonely. My new space-neighbors, consisting a CONCORD billboard and turrets greeted me cheerfully. Before I could even swear, my Incursus was gone. I laughed all the way to the nearest station in my pod. Coming out of jump, I started laughing even harder. I was literally on the floor as I saw who was flying right beside me.

My poor victim, slowly floating his way into station, didn't even bother to mock me. I felt denied of the greatest part of pirate life: being ranted and raved at afterwards. I docked and lurked, waiting for the heat to die down before I would be off to snag a new Incursus.

I'd attempt to chock it up to karma, but we all truly know why I died.

I am, after all, just another stupid pirate newbie.