I've been trying to rid myself of any feelings I might have for the victims which I prey upon.
It's been so many months now since I had a proper meal, slept in a real bed or walked on the grass of a meadow on some far-away planet.
The pod sustains my body and keeps me from going entirely insane. The chemicals it injects into my body to increase my alertness and stimulate my senses supresses the claustrophobia which is slowly creeping upon me. Yet I cant remember how many times I woke up in the morning struggling for air. Just to remember that I'm a pod-pilot still strapped into the fluid-filled pod of my ship. Still I worry that the chemicals it injects into my current clone-body keeps numbing my mind untill all which remain is a killing mindless drone.
I used to blame my past for the path I've taken. To kill to survive and prey upon the weak. I'd promised myself that I'd never feel joy of killing, but it's getting harder every time. The pods internal monitoring-systems have been recording elivated activity of my adrenal gland, even though its trying to supress it by chemicaly induced hormones. After-all I dont need to improve my physical alertness to fly a ship, only the mind.
Maybe I should just stop struggling and rid myself of all humanity.
It's time to go outlaw.