HARRR

My Scorpion class battleship illuminates the vacuum of space in a spattering of blue lights and white view ports. I am looking for victims.

INCOMING TRANSMISSION, CORP -
NiteReper > enjoi, [HIP] are on our home turf and have me camped in. Requesting assistance.
enjoi > Yarrrr I hear you hearty, 2J's out.
NiteReper > Let's rape these whore
enjoi > Fo' Shizzle dizzle, I got my umbrizzle fo' tha drzzle
Nitereper > lol
TRANSMISSION ENDED

As I just imto the solarsystem Adirain, home to Red-Alert Corp, I scan around. I get a nice result. 3 Bs on a 60 degree scan towards station. So these are the tools who think they can fuck with Red-A huh? Aight. I insta-dock, right past the two Apocalypse and one Megathron class battleships, and comminucate with NiteReper, and Darcstorm.

INCOMING TRANSMISION, CORP -
Darcstorm > So whats up with these guys enjoi?
enjoi > not a clue buddy, but they obviously dont have the brains of a pile of fesces.
NiteReper > So are we gonna fuck em up?
enjoi > Yeah, me and you are outlaws nite, so undock one at a time, let them flag for you and redock. Darc, your pos sec sucks ;) so undock and get away from the undocking channel.
Darcstorm > rgr
Nitereper > rgr, undocking.
Nitereper > They have flagged for me, safely docked.
enjoi > Aight, my turn to catch a flag.
TRANSMISSION ENDED

I undock in the scorpion. My shield resistances are amazing. My boost rate is insane. My siege engines long to heat up. So I sit there, infront of these three BS and hit my hardeners, waiting for them to flag against me. The MegaT locks and flags, closely followed by the two Apoc's. Wait a minute... What the hell...

INCOMING TRANSMISSION, CORP-
enjoi > bwahahahaa
enjoi > These guys SUCK
enjoi > all three of em on me and I can keep my tank at 100%
Darcstorm > lol
NiteReper > sweet, you guys ready?
enjoi > aye, Darc is already in position. Undock on my mark.
enjoi > GO
TRANSMISSION ENDED

Me and NiteReper undock as Darcstorm flags himself and starts to tank both the sentries and all three of their BS. I lock up on the closest Apoc and call him as primary. Man i'm itching to take this guys ship. We all open fire on him, and he go's down like a sack of shit. Litterally. 30 seconds see's him in structure, another 5 see's him dead. Bitch. We proceed to target the megathron, but this guy can actually tank. Well. I say tank... I mean he knows how to switch a rep on, but his resistances must SUCK. DAMN. He starts to go into around 20% armour and warps, being too far out of scram range. His buddy in the other apoc warps with him, and the remaining two BS and the egg pilot exit system, amidst a hail of smack. Darcstorm sits there a while, still tanking sentrys for the hell of it. He tanks them for another 2/3 mins then SS's, me and nite head to the gate and gank some poor dude's thorax in celebration. We join Darc at SS.

INCOMING TRANSMISSION, LOCAL-
enjoi > Red-Alert claims this system as home [HIP] and if you like your ships i would come back.
TRANSMISSION ENDED

God Damn, I think to myself. Not a bad brawl. Not bad at all. Just another day huh. Just another day in the life of enjoi.



Although I write in story'ish style, the events are true - ander now you dont gotta keep bitchin at me to write new articles :P thats two I've done in what, a year? :D

enjoi it fuckers