Nuggan's Rules on Honorable Fighting

So today I'm going about my pirating buisness when low and behold I find a few anti-pirates sitting outside my home station. Just three cruisers, no big threat, but I'm on buisness right now and have a full cargo hold so, since I had an insta to the station, I easily dock. A good hour and a half later I have to make a trip to buy a few modules to set up some new ships. I see a few known APs in local so I undock in an AF just to test the water..... sure enough those same guys in cruisers are still camping the station. So they've just been sitting there in space not doing anything at all for all this time? Kinda reminds me of the first article I wrote..... Anyway,of course they start attacking me. Well I only undocked to see if they were still there(no guns on the ship yet, I'd just bought it) so I try to dock again and then proceed to laugh as all three cruisers attack me, nos and web me, and can barely get me to half armor before my af crawls back to the station. Being nearly -9 sec now they could easily attack my hauler outside the station and tear it up as it would feebly try to align to warp I decided it was time to pull out the alt and go grab some of the items I needed that I couldnt get in low sec. Another long and drawn out period of time passes and I finally return to my home station again. Hmm.... all three still just sitting there.... ok, time to take the fight to them. I pull out my HAC and undock from the station. Well thats strange... I only see 1 person sitting there now...hmm, hes in a stabber... :::name removed to protect the poor fool has started trying to warp scramble you:::... sigh, ok you poor noob, I'll let you have it... So I proceed to get barely scratched by this guy while my HAC tears him a new one. Then suddenly he warps away.... You've got to be kidding me, this guy had at least 3 warp stabs fitted? Ok noob, I'll let you go... So after all I this I decide I have a few other things to do before starting some actual pirating that evening, but I decided to send the noob a friendly eve-mail: (Me) [nice try :p ....just a tip, fitting those warp core stabs can seriously gimp your setup ] I meant it in a friendly way, perhaps poking a bit of fun, but still as a tip to a noob. Here is the conversation that followed: (Him) [Just a tip - I'm alive after 1v1 with an AF as a REAL two month noob - you figure out whether I was gimped or not ;) ] (Me) [alive cause you ran? yeah, I'd call that gimp] (Him) [But what is the dishonor in that? I am a NOOB no kiidin a real one not an alt, I don't want to be a carebear, but I also want to die for no reason. You know. Like you've done to Machine for 3 times ! ;) ] (Me) [The dishonor is that its cowardly... Why fight at all if your just gonna run all the time? If you dont want to be a carebear then grow some balls and actually risk losing your ship. If you are a noob then you shouldnt be flying something you cant afford to replace. Yes, I died to machine, twice not 3 times, and I see no shame in that. I can afford the new ships each time. The first time was one on one and it was a very fair fight and it was close too and I even congradulated him on it. Neither of us was cowardly enough to try to run. The second time it was 2 on 2 and a bit unfair but I still didnt run. I see no shame in dying those times. I went up against a stronger setup and I lost and I didnt try to run. No shame there... you on the other hand sir, are a coward] (Him) [Let me get this straight. You have been playing since June of 2003. I have been playing for a little over 2 months. Yet you think it would be "fair" and "honorable" to fight you in a superior ship in a game that is specifically designed to make the senior player have the advantage. Does that sum it up? Do you realize how silly that is? How big is your ego that you think another player should play the game on your terms? Isn't that the height of childishness? "PLAY THE GAME MY WAY YOU MEANIE OR I WILL TALK BAD ABOUT YOU!!" Boo hoo. Get over yourself sweetheart. ;) Love, The :::NAME CENSORED::::.] (Me) [No, you let ME get this straight.... You're a self proclaimed noob, you've got about 2 months of gametime under your belt, and YOU attacked ME outside a station in your "inferior" ship and then when I decided to actually fight back you turn your arse around and run away..... Do you realize how silly YOU are? How big is YOUR ego that you think you can just poke me and run away? Then YOU have the audacity to attempt to ridicule ME when all I did when you attacked and RAN was send you a mail offering a little advice? Whos the childish one here?] (Him) [What do you mean "think you can poke me and run away"?!?!? I did poke you and run away :P I very much enjoy the fact that I have annoyed a self-proclaimed "honorable" pirate. This is one of the ways I enjoy the game, frustrating guys like you. I laughed the entire time I warped away. Please send me a detailed list of the Nuggan rules on honorable fighting so I can learn how to be killed when you want me to die, based on your rules. Thanks cupcake.] Cupcake? Did he just call me a cupcake? gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...... Anyway, does the fool not understand he's attempting to ridicule ME for HIM attacking ME and then HIM running away? Oooooook.... anyway, though he seems to think he's somehow frustrated me by not causing any loss and then running, what hes really done is inspired me, so now I present to you: Nuggans Rules On Honorable Fighting So You Can Learn How To Be Killed When I Want You To Die 1.) When you see me in local you should immediately lose all hope and then in the local channel state your exact location, ship type and cargo. 2.) When I warp in you should immediately put all your weapons and/or other modules offline. 3.) Do not try to escape and do not fight back...pretending to be afk would be best. 4.) Do not call for help unless those who will come to help will also be obeying these rules. 5.) If you dont pay the damn ransom then dont complain when you die. 6.) Upon making contact with me, your first statement should be "I'm here for your pleasure/amusment, I will obey all your commands without question, as you are the master pirate" 7.) For extra brownie points praise the glory that is me as I kill you and when I finish go on the eve forums and continue to praise the glory there. 8.) After each wrecking shot, you shall yell "THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!" 9.) Die quickly and with as little of your modules destroyed as possible. 10.) If you are offended by the rest of these rules, grow a sense of humor. I'm sure I'll think of more later, but as for now its time to hunt. (Thanks to Ontan for ideas for some rules!) YAAARRRR!!!!