Captains log: 5060138

Note: English is not my native language, you may find use of words odd and I can not exclude any grammar errors made writing this log. Battleship the Bischmark Captains log: 5060138, We are heading for Lanngisi, one of about six 0.5 systems clustered by Nakugard in Minmatar space… I have withdrawn to my courtiers, making up my mind if I am to sway to the good or the evil side, to become a pirate or stay in life as a nice guy and build up my existence helping others and making my millions by mining away for hours and hours in my precious weekend time… I have came to a conclusion I think, mining used to be fine and profitable in 0.5 systems, plenty of Omber, even Kernite, but since the macros and farmers went large, mining isn’t what it used to be… back in the old days I got 144isk for 1 unit of Isogen, now these days I should be happy to sell it for 103 a piece…. That’s a decrease of 28.5%! I think I’m going t … *intercom sound* “captain we are close to warp bubble collapse, we have reached belt one”. I reply: “on my way”. “Captain on the bridge”… I thank my first officer with a gesture and take a seat in the captains chair next to him overlooking the bridge, put my arms on the leans and look to my left, I see engineering configuring sensors as we drop out of warp.. as sensors come online I hear from sensor station: “Captain, 2 jetcan’s at 34KM range, no other contacts” … “Yellow alert! Plot a course for it, full impulse, activate MWD” I respond... “aye captain” is the response from my helmsmen. As he speaks, ship lighting indicates yellow alert. Some moments later we break 1000m/s barrier shooting forward to 1200m/s, the cup standing on the lean of my chair starts to rinkle because of the vibration... “the capacitor is at 50%!” I hear engineering shouting. “Full reverse, All stop!” I shout as we get close to both cans. Something tells me these cans are filled to the brim with Omber… I just know it… I order my intel and security officer to run a threat diagnose of the owner from these cans. He responds: “mild threat captain, no other of his corp members in system”. I order the cans to be opened and indeed, both of them are absolutely full. I can’t get the smile of my face as I order 2 cans of myself launched to transfer the ore. After about 3 minutes the operation is complete and I order 15KM range from the cans… not long after: “we have reached 15KM captain”. “Very well” I respond… “initiate cloaking!” *bluuring sound* I take a comfortable position in my chair, leaning on one arm as I see a ship warping in… “hauler visually detected captain” I hear sensor station calling out as I am visibly absent, still thinking about that one item before we warped in… “It’s closing on the cans sir!” Now I start to lean a bit forward in my chair and the glaze in my eyes starts to go away as I see him going for both cans. The tension on the crews face, waiting for the order to decloak is almost unbearable… “The hauler stops captain!” “Incoming transmission, shall I accept and open a channel sir?” I knot. “This the Captain of Battleship the Bischmark, what can I do for you?” I say. “You motherfucker, I will kill you!” “You fuckface! Motherfucking fuck!” the hauler captain responds in a blaze of anger. At this moment he definitely won’t get his ore back… “Decloak!” Sounds my order, as the bluuring sound of the decloaking goes on I respond: “bring it on pall!”. Some of my crew men burst into a laughter. “Target is warping out captain”. “We’ll wait for 15minutes” I say. After a few a new ship warped in. “Tempest battleship at 30KM range captain!”. Now this situation really gets my attention, as I look in a questioning way to my intel officer. He confirms it’s the same pilot. “BATTLE STATIONS!” I yell out load. *repeating alarm sound* All ship lighting changes red as I hear the aula voice repeats *battle stations, battle stations, all hands to battle stations* while the lights are flashing red and the repeating alarm sound goes on. I see crew on all decks running to stations on my hologram monitors when suddenly I hear impact sounds *blam* “We are taking fire sir!” “4 incoming heavy missiles captain!” jells the tactical officer. “Brace for impact!” I respond. *exploding sounds* “shields at 95% captain!”. “Fire tube 8 and 7” I respond, as I hear two Bane torpedo’s leave tubes, I order to close up to 20KM. Not long after two shockwaves show the massive impact of the Bane’s on the enemy. Tactical: “Target shields at 60%!“ “Enemy fire is intensifying captain!”…“Engage warp disruptors 1 and 2, launch all battle drones!” I respond. *buzzing sounds on the background* as I see the swarm of drones closing in on the target. “Target is recharging its shields captain! It appears he is tanking our torpedos!” Not for long, I think as I order: “Lets suck him dry! engage Heavy Diminishing Nostafu 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6!” In the mean time with an ear deafening sound I here another set of our Banes ripping tru his shields. The drones now slowly eating on his armor, the crew cheers. “Shields at 70% captain” says tactical. I quickly take a look at the armor tank we have in store and start to laugh out loud. “If he ever gets there” I say…. “If he ever gets there”… The battle rages on, but not long after: “Enemy has hull breach on multiple decks captain!” “Incoming transmission”. I make a gesture to open a channel and show on screen. *garble* “Please stop! You have won!” the opponent shouts out load. *bursting sounds* “I don’t want to lose this ship, please stop!” *explosions* “I’ll pay you money to let me go, please!!!” The crew on my bridge all look at me, amazed about how this situation is unfolding. I order to hold fire as he is left on 25% structural integrity, severely battered and heavily smoking on multiple decks I can see the mayhem caused to his ship. “We have received a 10M isk transfer captain” says the diplomatic officer. I am still thinking about the smack talk this ape gave me some minutes ago and switch to manual override from weapons com as I respond: “Who told you 10M is enough?” I press the 2 red flashing buttons on screen with an angry face as I hear another set of Banes leaving their tubes. “I put my middle fingers up to him ,!,(-.-),!, as I say “fuck smack talkers!” and see his once so proud battleship with its crew breaking up in a series of explosions, then followed by one big explosion *klabloooommm* leaving a circle of dust behind. “Incoming transmission from concord sir!” Victim: xxxxxxxxxxx Destroyed: Tempest System: Lanngisi Security: 0.5 Involved parties: Name: xxxxxxxxxxx (laid the final blow) “First officer, has the com” I say as I walk in thoughts back to my courtiers: It appears I got the answer to my question early on, I actually have become a Protecting Innocent Roids And Their Environment And to be honest I love it! There is no way mining for hours and hours can compete with the sheer volume of adrenaline being pumped around when in a PVP battle! Even if your sure you are going to win… there is still that risk… For instance, it could have gone the complete other way if some of his friends warped in, it’s the risk that makes it so exiting. Being on the edge, being sharp, like Hannibal Smith in one of my old favorite shows used to say with a big tasty cigar in the corner of his mouth: “I love being on the jazz”. Its like racing pink slips, you either win it or lose it all! The outcome doesn’t really matter, as long as you do it in style! It is not me actively choosing to be a pirate, I have played for 8 months like a nice guy, it’s the marcos witch forced me to seek some other way of getting money as it became unbearable for me and many others to mine for hours and hours to only cash in a couple of million in return of all that hard work and only to discover you have ruined half your real life day. Now I hear some saying: “go kill them marcos”. Believe me, I have killed dozens of macros including their farmer “guardians”. Besides, this smack talker causes to piss me off and engages me in a PVP fight…If he had just asked me the ore back instead of smack talking me, he would have gotten it back. It’s that simple… Now this ape has lost his BS, 2 cans of hard mined Omber, and his pride! Plus he made me (doubting as I was) go pirate for good! Still 9 out of 10 of my customers think smack talk is going to get them their ore back. Now I cant help I like the outcome of this all, having made 10M, 2 jet cans full of Omber and some looted equipment from his BS in just about 10minutes time… Besides, I have got a memorable experience and a nice Concord mail as a reminder of this all, you wont get that with hours of boring mining. Even a marco can confirm that! People that I want to extort don’t get blown up when they pay, only this guy I didn’t want to get paid from, I wanted him to die because of the smack talk. I guess I’ve to get myself a parrot now and start thinking about that wooden leg, as I’m slowly moving my pirate activities out of empire space and more into the abyss. One day you might hear yet another soul shouting: “YARRrrrrrr” in your local 0.0 channel. Oh before I forget, one final remark in general: Despite my 100.000isk spam fee, I get loads of smack talk and hate mail these days when I pop some one’s ship. The hate mails alone cost my customers more than the actual loss of their ships did. Even when I scoop some giant cans full of ore that are not anchored (and thus not pass worded, who’s fault is that when its gets stolen) I get tons of hate mail from its previous owner. They could have bought dozens of new cans from those mails. Some how smack talkers always try to make things personal, standard mails on blaming you for having had a bad childhood in real life, and so forth. With a big smile on my face I read those mails, but somehow I just don’t get it… I am not making things personal here… why all the frustration? It’s a MMORPG for crying out loud! Now the worse the smack talk gets, the more amusing I find it. I see it as a compliment of my piracy. Anyway I am not a bad pirate, last time I offered one particular guy back his stuff for 80% of market price, isn’t that a nice gesture from me? He actually bought his stuff back without any smack talk at all! Now that’s a wise man! Hereby I conclude my post, Fly safe, rob, steal, extort and gank at your best my fellow pirates! YARRRrrrrrrrrrr Cleared for publication by: Ander