Dear Diary, The Misadventures of Gurristas Arrogator Part 3

Part 1: The Beginning Part 2: Minding the Mindless Dear Diary: The Misadventures of Gurristas Arrogator Part 3 Dr. Strangelove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb I started to realize that if anyone was actually watching me I would look like a demented jackass with all this laughing and chuckling. I had to pick my time with care lest I give away what I had planned. This was a one shot opportunity and I had to make the most of it. It was O'dark Thirty when I made my move. As I had mentioned earlier I am at the core a sneaky rotten bastard. During my time with the Guristas I had "accidentally " observed and memorized the codes my commanding officer used. It was this code that I punched into the keypad by the door. I was greeted with a green light and sweet success. The door slid open with a whoosh and I breathed in air that wasn't tainted with my unshowered body. I darted out into the hallway and quickly made my way to the nearest restroom. Locking myself into the middle stall I contemplated my next move. The clock was ticking against me and I had to figure out a plan fast before they discovered I wasn't occupying my cell anymore and locked down the entire base. My best plan of action would be to move to the hanger as quickly as I could and steal a ship to make my get away. If there was one thing life with the Guristas had taught me it was that he who is the most arrogant wins. It was with this in mind that I stalked down the hallways in plain sight with my nose held high and made my way to the hanger. I came up to the hanger access way which was as always guarded by two soldiers with nothing between the ears but vacuum. The slouching guards snapped to attention when they saw the imperious walk and holier than thou expression on my face. Smiling inwardly I stepped inside of their personal bubbles to make them uncomfortable and put on my best "So, you're going to fuck with me are you?" expression. One of the guards held a nervous shaking hand out before stammering the phrase, "You-Your mission orders please sir?" I sent a gaze filled with napalm back to him and felt the satisfaction as he flinched. Continuing to burn a hole through his eye sockets I said back in clipped even tones, "My orders are classified and if you do not step aside right now I will use you to test the emergency evacuation abilities of our airlocks on this base." I should have figured I could play the role of an asshole to the hilt. I was born for this role. The guard held my gaze for a moment and I thought I might have misjudged the amount of iron in his backbone, but the weight of my gaze made him drop his head and mutter the exact words I wanted to hear. "Yes sir." As I entered the hanger and the door closed behind me I broke with the facade and hid in the shadows looking across the expanse at the ships all lined up in their berths. Across the hanger stood a Caldari Navy issued Raven that had been hijacked a few weeks ago from a freighter and was undergoing repairs from the damage it took in the battle. I made my way quickly over to it ducking in shadows and moving with as much stealth as I could, which is about the equivalent of a Gallente orgy in full swing. Despite my obvious shortcomings I made it across the bay and sidled up to the Raven to find it was missing its engines. Disappointed I backed up against the wall and caught a keypad square in my shoulder blade. The impulse to vomit surged forth with the pain but I managed to avoid a messy and attention getting scene in time. I turned around to study the door that had assaulted me which had no markings at all on it. It screamed Top Secret. If I had a door I wanted to be inconspicuous I would label it something like janitors closet or conference room. Leaving it unmarked just screams HEY LOOK AT ME IDIOT! I thought for a moment and decided I might as well press my luck and see if my idiot superiors codes worked on it. I punched in the numbers and was greeted by the familiar green light followed by the door sliding open. I hurried into the darkened area as the door closed behind me. The quiet was surreal in an atmosphere like a hanger. Normally they are areas of various clangs, clinks, and other noises as craft are serviced at all hours of the day and night. This had none of that and was lit by lights only at a tenth of their power. My heart stopped as I gazed at the giant behemoth docked in the hanger. Actually, the appropriate title for it would be Titan. An Erebus to be exact. I stood in awe not taking my eyes away from it for a second. So this was what we had been supporting all his time, why we sent out so many mining ops, and why I was relegated to flying a T2 Ibis during my time here. Everything that could be spared had been pumped into building this deadly piece of machinery. There was really no question of what to do on my part. I was going to steal it. With this baby in my possession I could do anything I thought to myself. I circled around it till I found a door to let myself in and made my way to the cockpit where I could plug in to the ship. I used my superiors code again to get on to the bridge of the ship and walked up to the egg shaped capsule that would make me one with the ship. I felt a shiver run down my back at the thought of all that power at my fingertips. My superior would never know what to do with power like this. I slid myself into the egg and started the initialization protocols. Systems that had been dormant flickered to life. Lights pulsed all along the hull lighting up the dark hanger with soft blue luminescence . Displays came up and diagnostics ran. I grew in confidence as reports came back that each system was running at peak until I saw one red check mark on my display. Turrets off line . Oh shit! How in the hell was I supposed to defend myself without weapons? It was time to shut this thing down and find myself another ship with weapons that would be more than a very slow ungainly battering ram. It was right about this time that the alarms started blaring. The loudspeakers then came to life and I heard a womens voice yelling to everyone on the base "This is a lock down ! There is a prisoner loose in base! All personal report to your lock down positions. Anyone found moving outside of lock down areas will be executed." Nothing like a trial by firing squad eh. It looked like I was out of options and I just had to play the hand I was dealt. The no weapons and sitting with a giant target on my back type of hand. Come to think of it that has pretty much been my lot in life from the start. I cranked the engines to full thrust and pointed the nose straight at the hanger doors. There was no hope of opening them during a lock down so I would just have to see who would win between a Titan and door collision. The Erebus shuddered as it impacted the solid steel before ripping a hole straight through it. My ship rumbled through space as I struggled to put distance between myself and the station. Hey, maybe I would get lucky and they wouldn't notice the ship that blocks out the sun trying to get away. Yeah, I couldn't fool myself with that either. About three minutes after I cleared the hanger as I was trying to figure out just what in the hell did what on this thing the base started belching out interceptors, frigates, cruisers, and battleships. It was a swarm of pain and it was all headed my way. I desperately tried to find somewhere to jump to. I had to get away and I didnt have much time to do it. A signal! I quickly locked onto the Cynosaural field that the ship had detected and initiated the jump procedure. I didnt know where it was to but it had to be safer than here. The field expanded over my ship and I felt the disorienting sensation of being in two places at the same time before snapping back into reality. I pulled up my navigation display as the computer pulled in information to determine my location. Jita. Oh shit times ten. I was sitting right next to a station in the middle of Jita in a cloud of over fifty ships. There were over 500 pilots in this system alone and every one of them was panicking over the hulking menacing ship that had appeared in their presence . The numbers swelled even more as the ships that had been chasing me in Kisogo flew through the Jita gate. Then the comm unit started blaring out "Attention pirate Titan! This is Concord control of Jita. Heave to or be hulled!" As the announcement finished over one hundred Concord ships came out of warp and locked my ship down. Then the comm unit came alive with shouts from my former Guristas comrades , Concord officers, and the denizens of Jita either trying to flee or coming in to take a piece of my Titan. It was needless to say very unnerving and if I hadn't been hooked into my egg I surely would have shit myself. As it was I panicked looking for something, anything to do. I activated a random control which had the devastating effect of blinking the running lights in various patterns. Knowing my luck it would be calling everyone about to fire on me the son of a female aardvark . And then I became the skewer point for every weapon imaginable. The Erebus shook under hammer blows as more than two hundred ships opened fire at once. The shields were nuked almost at once and even with the hardeners and repairers activated the armor was being whittled down to nothing. In a delirious state I activated controls at random that did absolutely nothing hoping beyond hope that there was something I missed. As my armor went down below a quarter I activated everything on board the Titan in a last ditch effort to do something, anything to escape without getting shredded into a frozen piece of man meat . As I closed my eyes and prepared to die I heard a deep humming from within the ship, followed by a countdown and then the computers voice telling me I had activated Aurora and to please stand by. Who the fuck was Aurora and how was she going to help me? As I pondered this the last of my armor disappeared and the ships structure dropped in an eye blink . As this happened the hum intensified to ear shattering levels and then a scream erupted from the ship drowning out my own scream as I thought for sure the ship was done for. A bright blinding light pulsed from the ship along with a final bowel crushing roar and everything went dark as I lost consciousness . A light. That was the first thing that pinged into my thoughts as I awoke. Bright. A sun. I gradually and painfully made the journey back to consciousness . My first realization was I had survived. My second was that I was still in the Erebus with my shields slowly recharging over the sliver of hull I had left. I activated the display screens and looked out over a field of carnage. Everything was gone. All the ships that had been attacking me were either vaporized or gutted wrecks. The station I was next to had been slagged and melted within itself. Scans across the system repeated the story. Everything was gone or slagged from the stations to the ships to the gates. Jita had been destroyed and it had been my doing. Overall I was pretty pleased with my self. Next time Part 4: The Ultimate E-Bay