Здравствуйте

After a night of pirating, or more accurately, a night of staring at my the back of my Caracal waiting for something... anything to show up, I decided throw in the towel. I hadn't seen a single player in the last 20 systems that I've been in since I had popped a t2 fitted interceptor three hours ago. I find a nice, secluded system with a few jumpgates, safespot it, and log off.

In the morning, I had remembered that a skill just ended and I needed to start a new one. I log in, and smack my forehead in disgust. I now have 7 other people in the system with me. A quick check of their bios reveal that they're all in the same corporation. Oh crap. And worse yet, they're all Russian. Great. I take a jump of faith and warp to one of the jump gates. Luckily, there was no one there and I jumped through it. I can only hope that the Russians were too busy doing what Russians do, probably drinking vodka and yelling at asteroids or something, to keep an eye on local. Maybe they didn't even see me. Once on the other side, I right click and warp to 0 to a random jumpgate. I don't have time to check the map for pilots killed and what-not so I must just cross my fingers and hope that I don't run into a gate camp. As my Caracal aligns to warp, a Raven and a interceptor materialize from out of jump cloak. I remember their names from the first system, they're definetally Russians. I get to the jumpgate and jump through. And then I jump through a few more. I safespot in and wait contentedly, watching local. There's no way they could've followed me this far. I must've jumped through 5 random jumpgates.

Oh crap. The inty pilot shows up in local. Followed by the Raven. Wonderful. I run. I run like a scared little puppy. I may be a pirate, but I ain't stupid. I am only in a t1 fitted Caracal, but for me that's still a lot of money. I try every trick I can think of to lose them. I warp to a gate, jump through, then on the other side I hit my AB and jump back into the last system. Didn't work. I jump through another gate and wait cloaked for them to come through. I double back a few more times, I warp between jump gates, I go in circles and these Russians are still on my tail.

At last, an idea! So I am up against a battleship and a interceptor. The battleship, if piloted well, will destroy my Caracal in a couple of volleys easy. But what if I jam it!? Oh yes, if I jam the Raven and throw a couple of heavy's at it, I'll surely get his attention, and he surely will tell the inty where I am. The inty will try to tackle me, I hope, and then I can take out the inty with my assault's and heavy's. It's bold, it's daring, and maybe a little stupid, but it might work. If I can keep the Raven jammed for at least 2 cycles, I can even make off with some of the inty's loot. It's certainly a long shot, but if I can kill the inty, it's worth it.

I jump from system to system, looking for these two. I find the raven sitting 10km off of a gate I just jumped through. The inty is not in the system. I lock the raven and try to jam him. I even lob a couple of heavies his way, just to annoy him. Yeehaw!!! My first ECM cycle worked. He's jammed! And right on cue, the inty materializes and locks me. I lock him, web him, and warp jam him (for good measure) and send all my heavies and assaults his way. His shields are going down. The raven is still jammed. Holy guacamole, this is working. 10 seconds later, the next cycle of ECM fails to jam the Raven. Oh noes. Explosions engulf my screen as the Raven's torpedos hit me. It's time for me to leave this party. I have most of the inty's shields gone, I don't want to risk it against the torpedos. I prepare to warp away as I realize there are now 4 more pilots in the system. And they're all Russian. 0.o Before I can say Здравствуйте I am jammed, webbed, NOS'd and scrambled... and finally BBQ'd. I'm gone. The Russians got me. My screen gets stuck with me in my Caracal, but I know it's just because I'm on dialup. I log off a few minutes later. And I realized that I didn't even change my skill.

Cleared for publication by: Ander
Killmail moved to extended body.